Top 30

These are the top 30 teams in MLB, judging on how they're currently playing, updated once a week. These are, of course, just my opinions, but I like to think I'm always right.

1. Detroit Tigers: Justin Verlander (10-4, 3.13 ERA) is my pick for ROY right now. With the kind of year Papelbon's having (0.45 ERA, 24 saves), that's saying something.
2. Chicago White Sox: Note to Ozzie Guillen: when John Rocker is on your side, you're in trouble.
3. Boston Red Sox: The Red Sox just set a Major League record for consecutive games without an error (17). That was...um...unexpected.
4. New York Mets: Pedro's been, well, un-Pedro-like this month (2-3, 6.23 ERA). Mets fans can only hope it's nothing to worry about.
5. New York Yankees: Alex Rodriguez hits a walk-off homerun against the Braves. Maybe he's turning into a timely hi...oh, he just went 0-4 against the Mets. Turns out one hit doesn't change a guy.
6. Toronto Blue Jays: When healthy, Roy Halladay is the nastiest pitcher in the majors, and he has the numbers (10-2, 3.22 ERA) to be the AL starting pitcher. Too bad Ozzie's picking his own ace, Jose Contreras.
7. Minnesota Twins: Joe Mauer is hitting everything right now, but he won't get to the end of the season with a .400 batting average. It's like the 56-game hit streak, a next-to-impossible task.
8. St. Louis Cardinals: The Cardinals need to get Mark Mulder back on track. Same with Jason Isringhausen, Jason Marquis, Jeff Suppan, etc.
9. Oakland Athletics: Can anyone explain why the A's always catch fire at the start of the summer? If the season started in mid-June every year, they would always have the best regular season record...and then still lose in the first round.
10. Cincinnati Reds: Seriously, Adam Dunn needs to learn the value of a ground ball hit up the middle. Although, a grand slam when you're down 3 runs in the bottom of the 9th is pretty useful too.
11. Texas Rangers: The Rangers are doing very well without Kenny Rogers this year. Even more surprising is that they've gotten by with Kevin Mench's noggin blocking out the sun and all.
12. Los Angeles Dodgers: Nomar's had a resurgence in LA. He would deserve to start the All-Star Game, but there's some guy named Pujols that plays his position.
13. Florida Marlins: The Marlins are exceeding everyone's expectations, winning despite playing with all younger players obtained in their offseason fire sale. Look for another fire sale after this season, with Dontrelle Willis being traded for a bunch of left-handed 6-year-olds.
14. San Diego Padres: Mike Piazza is a professional baseball player, he married a Playboy Playmate, and he's the best offensive catcher in Major League history. He's got alot going for him, too bad my 6-month-old neice could steal second with him behind the plate.
15. Seattle Mariners: The Mariners have Ichiro. He's fast.
16. San Francisco Giants: Barry Bonds has never failed a drug test. No matter how suspicious it looks, until he test positive, leave the guy (and his records) alone.
17. Arizona Diamondbacks: The D-backs are still reeling from the Jason Grimsley scandal. They should re-sign him, they need his 4.88 ERA back.
18. Colorado Rockies: Even though the Rockies play in a stadium that is technically outside of Earth's atmosphere, they have the 4th-best ERA (4.23) in the NL.
19. Houston Astros: Wow, that money's really paying off so far. 2 starts, 0 wins for Roger Clemens. If you're paying him that much, you better either score some runs or make sure he doesn't give up any runs...ever.
20. Milwaukee Brewers: Prince Fielder is taking after his dad, Cecil. That is, he's large and he's not exactly Jose Reyes on the basepaths.
21. Philadelphia Phillies: The Phillies had Brett Myers make his next start shortly after he slapped up his wife on a Boston street. It's obvious the Phillies organization is very classy.
22. Anaheim Angels (I refuse to call them the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim on the grouds that it's a ridiculous name): Ummm....the Angels don't need a Rally Monkey at this point. They need a Rally King Kong.
23. Washington Nationals: Oh, look, Alfonso Soriano is playing left field. Good, it looks like he finally decided that he wasn't greater than the te...oh, he realized he wasn't going to get paid.
24. Baltimore Orioles: Don't blame Leo Mazzone for the Orioles' pitching woes (5.15 team ERA). Not even Jesus could pull off a miracle to make this pitching staff any good.
25. Cleveland Indians: The Indians, after their finish last year, were expected to compete this year. Well, they are competing. With the Royals. For last place in the AL Central.
26. Tampa Bay Devil Rays: The Devil Rays have tons of young talent. They have 6 really good outfielders, and 1 really good pitcher. Hey, that almost makes a good team! Almost.
27. Chicago Cubs: Maybe sacrificing a billy goat to the heathen gods would help. They've got to do something.
28. Atlanta Braves: Bobby Cox still believes his team can win the division and make the playoffs. But he knows he just loses alot right after that, so he said to hell with it and gave up.
29. Kansas City Royals: Judging by this season's record, if the Royals played the Pirates 162 times, they'd be an unprecedented 162-0.
30. Pittsburgh Pirates: Oh well, at least they host the All-Star Game this year. That's something.